39: 3 keys to coping with a career change

Any career switch will have its ups and downs. I speak with recovery coach Gerardo Matamoros about some potentially harmful behaviors you may start relying on to help you handle whatever is going on right now with your career change.

Gerardo is the owner of consulting firm 7RM7 and a group facilitator for Smart Recovery, a nationwide nonprofit which offers free support groups to individuals who want independence from any type of addictive behavior. 

In this episode of Career Switch Podcast, Gerardo tells us what’s really behind whatever behavior you may be using to cope, whether it’s too much eating, spending, drinking, smoking, sleeping, TV watching, gaming, pill taking—anything that can be harmful when done in excess. 

Gerardo explains how your thoughts affect your actions and offers 3 keys to how you can better cope with making a career change.

Episode Highlights:

• Warning signs that can lead to unhealthy behaviors
• Why people start turning to potentially harmful behaviors to cope
• Stress and control
• Cognitive distortions that affect your actions
• Questioning your thoughts 
• Using cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT
• Stages of change
• Reducing anxiety with acceptance and patience
• Taking action to reduce stress

Find Gerardo Matamoros at:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/gerardo-matamoros

Learn more about Smart Recovery at:
English: www.smartrecovery.org
Spanish: https://smartrecovery.org.es

Resources mentioned: 

How to Make Stress Your Friend, TED Talk by Kelly McGonigal

Ep 5: How to handle uncertainty while making a career change

Music credit: TimMoor from Pixabay

Podcast info:
What's your career switch? What do you think about this episode and the show? Tell us at careerswitchpod.com. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Transcript

Lixandra: Hi, everyone. I'm Lixandra Urresta, and this is Career Switch Podcast. This show is here to encourage you to take action with whatever career change you're considering or working on. Maybe you're trying to switch industries or professions or break out on your own and start a business. In some episodes, I talk to people who've made their own career switch, whether by choice or circumstance. They share the good, the bad, and the truth about their journey, including what worked for them and what didn't. 

In other episodes, I speak with experts who offer their best career advice on challenges that can come up during the process of making a career change. After all, it takes guts to switch things up, and it's not easy. However, it is possible. 

So, I hope you hear something in this episode, an idea, a suggestion, a piece of advice that'll spur you into action with your own career switch, whether it's taking that first bold step or trying something new. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. 

Any career change will have its ups and downs. That's a big part of what Career Switch podcast is about—dealing with the challenges that can come up while making a career change. I remember when I got laid off and spent 14 months trying to figure out my next career, I would stress eat and comfort shop when things weren't going how I wanted. Are you doing something similar? Turning to a behavior to handle whatever is going on right now with your career change? 

I speak with recovery coach Gerardo Matamoros, owner of consulting firm 7RM7. I'll call him G during our chat today. G is also a group facilitator for Smart Recovery, a nationwide nonprofit which offers free support groups to individuals who want independence from any type of addictive behavior. In this episode, G tells us what's really behind whatever behavior you may be using to cope. Whether it's too much eating, spending, drinking, smoking, TV watching, video game playing, or misusing sleeping pills or prescription drugs. Anything that can be harmful when done in excess. G explains how your thoughts affect your actions and offers three keys to how you can better cope with making a career change. 

Hi G, thanks for joining us today. Let's face it, a career change can take time. A lot of us make a career switch after a layoff, or we go back to school for a degree, or we could be trying to change careers while juggling a nine to five job. And there will surely be challenges along the way which we'll have to handle. Before we dive in, tell us what you do as the owner of 7RM7 and as a recovery coach.

Gerardo: I am right now focusing on consulting and helping other businesses, specifically nonprofits, to develop programs for the Spanish language community, more specifically with the recovery community. And recovery meaning from any type of addictive behavior. My main client right now is Smart Recovery USA, Smart Recovery NYC, and Smart Recovery International. There's three different levels to that, and I provide different services within those levels. Additional to that, I do have my recovery coach certificate, so I will do one-on-one sessions and I can do it for individuals who are seeking guidance in a direction and getting out of problematic behaviors that are interfering with those goals.

Lixandra: You're also a group facilitator for Smart Recovery, a national organization that helps people with addictive behaviors. So you see a lot of people in recovery and you know what people go through under many circumstances. That's why I thought you'd be a great guest for this topic. What are some potential harmful behaviors that we can start turning to as the weeks and months go by while making a career change and we come across these ups and downs?

Gerardo: First of all, I think I would like to start with perhaps some of the warning signs that lead to these behaviors. And a lot of them is understanding that we can fall into a period of boredom, of frustration, high emotional upsets, perhaps. Perhaps romanticizing our old job and saying, maybe I was OK where I was. This is too difficult. And so these can be key areas that might give us an alert of doing something that later we might regret. Coping mechanisms can range from substance misuse, whether it's alcohol or illicit substances, as well as prescription. And then it can extend further into things that we don't think about, whether it's being angry can become a pattern of snapping at people because we're not happy where we are. to eating, gambling, and shopping. So it really can range a wide range of activities and behaviors that can go into unhealthy situations, right?

Lixandra: Yeah, when I was making my career change in 2019, it took me 14 months. I didn't know it was going to take me that long. So it felt like forever. And I started stress eating. Basically, I would overeat when I was frustrated or feeling stuck, or just something wasn't panning out the way I thought it should. I remember I was trying to network, so I'd reach out to people and then it was out of my control, right? You basically have to wait to see if they respond, agree to meet with you for an informational interview, or agree to pass on your resume, anything, you know, like that. It's a lot of things that are out of your control. And maybe that's why a lot of us turn to these behaviors. My other behavior was comfort shopping. For me, it was very comforting to go to a particular store and just walk around and browse. Because I guess I knew that for however long I was going to be in that store, I was distracted from whatever was going on with my career change at the time. But of course, once I started browsing, something would always catch my eye and I'd end up buying it and overspending. So tell us more about why people start turning to behaviors like these or the ones you mentioned earlier.

Gerardo: We are built, our brains are built to focus and go after those things that hit the pleasure center of the brain. And so that's, that's really what we're used to. We're built to seek those things that make us feel better. Part of what I try to do is now look for healthier ways to accomplish the same thing. less intensity, right? Not in that instance. But seeking soothing is normal. And the other thing I think that I believe in is that stress, to your point earlier, stress is trying to control everything that we're doing, everything that somebody else is doing, and everything that's happening around us and our circumstances. The minute I start accepting these situations is the minute that I start experiencing a different level of calmness, whether it's meditation or exercise or any other activity that's a healthier approach to releasing this stress and just focusing in the moment can be helpful.

Lixandra: And when we first spoke, Ji, you brought up how we want things to happen fast and then we get caught up in our thoughts. Tell us more about that.

Gerardo: We are influenced by all these messages in the media about better, faster, now, instant. And so it is no surprise that that is reinforced within us. a lot of the thoughts that might come up when something is not happening for us, which are unhealthy. We call unhealthy thought patterns or cognitive distortions, might be to the point where, you know, I am failing and this doesn't happen now. I am failing and this doesn't happen at all. I am worthless if I don't get a response back. And so that increases our level of frustration. Working on changing these thought patterns into healthier and more realistic perspectives also allows us to gain acceptance of the situation. And acceptance in this process leads to being patient. We can't rush. To your point of instant gratification, we might have a tendency to want things now. And in this process, the healthier approach is to learn we can't rush time. And we can't rush things. And so that is a skill that is perhaps very difficult. If we are experiencing unhealthy behaviors during this process of transition, these are things to observe. Am I being impatient and highly frustrated? And why? And asking myself the question why might reveal these thoughts. What is it that is contributing to my highly emotional upset?

Lixandra: And I know you help people practice CBT. How can we apply CBT to the process of making a career change?

Gerardo: Cognitive behavioral therapy basically means if the thought changes, the behavior changes. So it's a little bit of both of us talking again, earlier, the thought might be, I'm not good enough, if this doesn't happen for me right away. And questioning that really just simply questioning, is it true that I'm not good enough? Answering that question can give you a healthier perspective and even a healthier thought that you can turn to in those moments that might be a difficulty. So perhaps it's, no, it doesn't mean that I'm worthless. It just means that I'm not getting an answer right away, or the other person might be doing something else if I'm not getting a response to an email. Part of the other concept that I focus on is, from a science point of view, there are changes or stages that happen every time we make a change. Understanding those phases and those stages can help create a blueprint of what to expect, including that doubt, including that uncertainty, and to minimize The doubt and uncertainty can be highly beneficial to reduce anxiety, emotional moments, and then reduce what might be a harmful behavior that you're using to cope with these situations.

Lixandra: What are these stages of change?

Gerardo: The stages of change are pre-contemplation, which simply means that you haven't contemplated what's going to happen or the change that you want to make. So perhaps it's when you, Alexander, were still in your old job, and you were just frustrated, angry at your circumstances, but you weren't thinking you could get out of them. You were just saying, this is it, and I'm miserable. The next stage is contemplation, where you start thinking, well, maybe I could do something different. And you start looking at, why are these things that you could do differently? What do I like to do? In that sense, you're going to experience a lot of doubt and a lot of, um, you know, whether you are ready or not to, to change careers, to change settings. And then you prepare, you, you seek information. Perhaps you start dipping your toes in the water and start saying, am I comfortable with this? Can I do this? As you find information, you feel more confident that this change is possible. And then the next one would be taking action to actually really put some time and effort into what you're doing. The more time and effort that we put into something, the more confident we feel about what we're doing. And so the less stress we're going to feel, right? Then the next one would be maintenance, where you maintain more of the new behavior. Let's just say in my case, I started putting less time to what I was doing and more time into what I wanted to do. Which, in fact, affected my previous job, right? Because I started putting less effort until I made the decision that this is what I wanted to do. And I gave up my previous career and decided to do 100% this. And that's when the change was completed for me. I was fully vested in my new path. Of course, everything within it is still, you know, up in the air and I'm still learning to do better. But that is living and that is calming for me.

Lixandra: Right. You made a career switch yourself. You used to work in advertising and now you started your own consulting business.

Gerardo: Yes. Well, actually, the truth is, this is my fourth company. It took me a while to really find out what I wanted to do. Within that process, I went through a lot of frustration and impatience. I went through some of my own, uh, unhealthy behaviors because of it, because of the uncertainty. And I think the tools that are, that I've been talking about right now, or the concept of change and the awareness of what key areas that can lead right. To these, uh, behaviors would have been very helpful for me.

Lixandra: What do you suggest can help us be more aware?

Gerardo: One of the tools that I find very helpful is to even just sit down before I make a change and decide what is important to me. What are the areas, what are the key areas that are important to me? What do I value? When I do that, I can move forward in that change, in that direction, with more confidence and more commitment. For me, that was a valuable tool for motivation. If you're looking to change in any which way, knowing the why. And for me, it's almost a translation of why do I get out of bed every morning? And when I think about it, you know, I could wake up nervous and a little bit anxious in the morning. Maybe I'm going to admit it with some sort of palpitations. I'm still a little bit unsure of how I'm going to approach my day. But if I just think about for a minute why it's important what I'm doing, what is driving me to do this, then I get up and I take the next step. And that really is transforming for me because I never thought about those things. And so these are things that create a compass, a direction. And from these, you can then create goals. So everything you do is building those areas or those important values that you have. I can't tell you how much that reduces my anxiety. There's a TED talk by a psychologist called Kelly McGonigal on how to make stress your friend. And in true fashion, we can't eliminate our emotions completely. They are great warning signs of something that's happening. And so it's great to observe them, but to have them in levels that are manageable helps us move forward. Well, this is one of the ways. If we are doing something that's important to us, then we will be able to do it despite the levels of stress that they might create because it's important.

Lixandra: Would you say it all boils down to uncertainty? Because there's no guarantee things will pan out with a career change. When it's going to happen and if it's going to happen the way you want it to happen.

Gerardo: Yeah. I actually, I don't know where my next paycheck is going to come, like how quickly my next check is going to come, when people are going to pay me, even though I am voiced. And that uncertainty is real. My stress these days is less because I've learned two things. One, I can't force the people to pay me quicker than they're going to. But I can also ask the people who are expecting money from me if they are able to delay. I can manage those things in many different ways. And therefore, I can lower my day-to-day stress. Eventually, I will just accept the fact that I can't pay something on time or that I'm not going to be paid on time. And that's OK. I'm still going to pursue those things that I find are making me get out of bed, like helping me get out of bed. Right. I'm still going to keep working at what I do.

Lixandra: What about the circumstances? If your client isn't paying you and then you can't pay your rent on time, there are going to be circumstances. I think that's partly why we may turn to these coping behaviors. Like I said earlier, it took me 14 months and I had to make sure my expenses were covered every month while I was working on my career change.

Gerardo: For sure. I always got more anxious about the fact that I thought if I didn't pay the first of the month, I would get kicked out of my apartment. I'm not saying it's not true for some people, but what I knew or I know now is that thinking that way didn't allow me to have a productive conversation with my landlord. If I think something's not going to happen or it's going to happen, if it's not leading me in the right direction, then I'm not going to do something about it. If I think I can't have the conversation, say, you know, this month I might not pay you rent, but next month I'll pay you double. And if you're able to not charge me the late fee, I would really appreciate it. But if you do, I will pay it. But then it gives me an extra month to just focus on work and not be distracted by the anxiety that I might have about something I'm not doing. The fact is, is that That's what I've learned. You can have any conversation with anybody and that is a reduction of stress.

Lixandra: So it's about having a realistic way to handle whatever comes up. I did learn with the networking that it's a numbers game, that I could not just reach out to a few people then wait for them to get back to me. I had to reach out to many people. The same goes for job applications, right? You may apply to the perfect job, but it takes weeks to fill a position. So it's best to just keep applying. Don't just wait to hear back from that one job.

Gerardo: We talked about the stages of change. There's no time limit for each stage. And just understanding that allows me to be more patient about the process, any process, including the changing of a career.

Lixandra: Great. Well, thanks, G. I think we have a good roundup in this episode, right? So the three keys to making a career change would be awareness, acceptance, and patience. So for any listeners out there who recognize themselves with anything we talked about today and are interested in checking out Smart Recovery, how can they learn more?

Gerardo: For English speakers, you can go to smartrecovery.org. And for Spanish language, go to smartrecovery.org.es for Español.

Lixandra: And which online SMART Recovery meetings do you facilitate?

Gerardo: If you want to Meet me and see what I do for the organization Smart Recovery in Spanish. You can check out the meetings that I am facilitating currently, which is Tuesdays at 3 p.m. Eastern Time and Thursdays at 3 p.m. Eastern Time.

Lixandra: And what about your business services?

Gerardo: So as the owner of 7R7, I help organizations to develop Spanish language components to their programs so they can help the Spanish language community. That includes translations or what I would say culturally relevant adaptations to the material as well as any social media and website needs.

Lixandra: Okay and anyone interested in contacting you can reach you through LinkedIn so I'll be sure to link your profile in the show notes. This has been a great episode, G. I'm sure it'll help someone out there. Any last words?

Gerardo: I believe hope is the belief that change is possible through perseverance and patience.

Lixandra: Thanks to Gerardo Matamoros for being our guest today. You can connect with him on LinkedIn and check out Smart Recovery in English and Spanish. If you want more advice on how to deal with uncertainty, tune in to Episode 5, How to Handle Uncertainty While Making a Career Change. 

You can find links to the resources mentioned in this episode and more helpful information in the show notes and on our website, careerswitchpod.com. So what's your career switch? Are you motivated to take action after listening to this episode? Tell us at careerswitchpod.com. We'd love to know, along with any feedback you have about the show. Let us know too, if you'd like to be a guest. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn at careerswitchpod. And please rate, review, and share with your friends and colleagues. It'll help get the show out there. Thanks for listening today. Till next time.